It Takes Courage

I’m writing this from a balcony that overlooks rice paddies and banana trees, watching the sun peek over the horizon on a brilliant morning. From time to time I catch the sound of a woman singing, and a light breeze carries the scent of perfumed incense. I’ve been in Bali for five days now, and still I am struck by moments like this. Again I have to ask myself, “How did I get here?!?” It’s one thing to dream of travel but another to quietly watch this scene unfold before my eyes.

When I started telling people about my plans to travel, they typically responded with a variation on one of two themes: a) how insanely jealous they were or b) how insanely brave I was. Feeling uncomfortable with the latter compliment, I would poo poo the suggestion and reply that I was just lucky that the stars had aligned in the perfect configuration to make it work. But now, having lived through everything that had to happen to turn this peaceful morning into my reality, I can say unequivocally that it did take courage. And as for my previous belief, I will revise it to say that the stars did not align in my favor without first witnessing a significant commitment on my end.

I don’t say this to toot my own horn; my story may be unique to me but it’s not noteworthy on a larger scale. Instead I say this as a gentle reminder that it’s possible to chase a dream. I offer it as evidence that we really can do the things we imagine. The catalyst we need is available to each and every one of us. It is courage–the courage to persistently listen to what we truly want and the courage to take action toward that goal.

Your dream may be to learn a new language, share your art, or find a job that is more fulfilling. These possibilities all threaten our sense of stability in some way. Each one poses a risk, and because we don’t know the future, we can’t quite be sure how things will turn out. Therefore, when our comfort-loving brains weigh the uncertain reward against guaranteed risk, the result is too often a decision to leave things just as they are.

Fortunately, we have the power to override the autopilot. We can take a breath, summon our courage, and consciously choose to make our lives into more of what we want them to be, despite the uncertainty. For me, committing to my deep desire to travel meant I needed to give my boss my resignation. I’d be lying if I said I was 100% confident in my decision as I walked into that conversation. I didn’t have any of the details worked out, plus the idea of not having a steady income was terrifying. But I couldn’t hush that voice inside of me any longer.

When I told my boss that I wanted to transition out of the company so I could travel for an extended period of time, I immediately followed that statement with a directive: don’t freak out! He smiled and said he wasn’t freaking out, and in retrospect I realize I was projecting my own anxieties onto him. I had no idea how this was going to play out. I was scared. But I had done the hard part–I had committed.

Then came the work of planning an international adventure while wrapping up my entire life in Portland. It was a bigger undertaking than I had anticipated. I felt rushed and unprepared, and sometimes I wondered what the hell I was doing. But I am happy to report that those were often the moments when the stars did align, providing a dash of synchronicity right when I needed the encouragement to keep going.

I still don’t know how this is all going to play out, but I’m thrilled to be sitting right where I am–courtesy of a big dream and the courage to chase it. I hope you'll join me.