Starting Over

Like many people, as the end of December draws near I am already looking forward to the new year ahead. I'm imagining all of the things I want to accomplish during my next trip around the sun. The close of the year is a natural time to pause and reflect on where I am, to figure out where things are going right and where I want to make changes.

There's something special about starting a new year that gives us permission to be gentler with ourselves. Sure, I wanted to learn another language this year. I also wanted to paint my bathroom and travel abroad and run a 10k. The fact that I didn't tackle (or even make progress toward!) these goals has been quietly nagging me all year. But not anymore. It's 2016! I get to start over. I can sincerely let my failed attempts go because it's the one time of year when we all agree to wipe our slates clean. 

But are we really only allowed that magical eraser once a year?

I heard "Grace" by the October Project at a restorative yoga workshop a few weeks back. The class was being offered to volunteers who work with disadvantaged populations, introducing yoga and the coping skills it offers to youth and adults who have experienced trauma in their lives. The dynamics in these classrooms are often quite difficult and unexpected. As a volunteer yoga teacher I often feel ineffective, wondering if any part of what I am trying to communicate is being received. 

At the workshop, my teacher played "Grace" as a reminder of not just the opportunity but the obligation we each have to wipe our slate clean, moment by moment. Maybe our actions didn't have the results we intended. Maybe we said something we wish we could take back or say a different way. Maybe that's okay. The real work is to stop dwelling on our missteps and instead accept that we do the best we can in each moment. Maybe our best doesn't feel good enough, but it's all we have. And in the next moment, we might know a little better. We might do better.

Now in this moment
It's time to start over
Open your heart
You know there's nothing to forgive

The lyrics of "Grace" remind me that every moment can be my own personal New Year's Day. I don't have to wait for an annual celebration to give myself permission to accept where I am–off track and all–and move forward. I get the opportunity to start over hundreds of times each day.