Unstuck

We have all had the experience of getting stuck somewhere on our path. Often this occurs when we don't get what we want and can't find a way to move past the feelings that arise. You didn't get a job you applied for, so you feel like a failure. Your partner falls in love with someone else, so you lose your sense of self-worth while your anger burns. A close friend dies of cancer at a young age, and you are overwhelmed with sadness and guilt. 

We may not like to acknowledge it, but fear is lurking underneath all of these reactions. We fear that we won't be taken care of, that we won't fall in love again, that something bad might happen to us. But if we look even closer, we often find that we are also stung by an intense feeling of unfairness about these situations. They require us to say goodbye when that's not the experience we were anticipating. 

As humans we have created rules to help us live alongside each other, and these rules attempt to establish at least an appearance of fairness and justice. Fairness is a concept that is hammered into us at a very young age and we carry it into adulthood. Unfortunately, the universe didn't get the memo. There is no guarantee–nor should there even be an expectation–that life is fair. Life just happens, often in ways we don't expect and with results that make us unhappy. As long as we remain caught up in our belief in the injustice of it all, we don't allow ourselves to honestly feel our pain. Instead we surround ourselves with grand ideas of what might have been, and we become trapped. There is no way for us to break through that circle to move forward. 

We have to give up the idea that life is supposed to be fair, that life is supposed to conform to our expectations. It is hard work, and I struggle with this every day. But if we can accept this, we can finally let go of what hurts and move forward along our path.