Ocean Song

Last weekend I was feeling restless. I had made a decision to be open and curious about a possibility that was presenting itself in my life, but immediately afterward things got sticky. It became very difficult to keep expectations from forming and to simply let things unfold. I started to cling to the possibility and was already afraid of losing it. I allowed myself to be vulnerable and it stung. The habits and ways of thinking I'd been developing seemed to have abandoned me, and I was feeling a lot of conflicting emotions. 

I needed air. I grabbed my dog and drove to the ocean, a place that always soothes my soul. Something about the rhythmic sound of the waves cancels out all the noise in my head, and I can breathe deeper when I'm surrounded by so much open space. I wanted to let go of the frustrations and anger that had resurfaced–at myself, at events, at other people–to make room for what really matters to me: love, kindness, honesty, and gratitude. 

I sat in the sand watching the waves roll in and pondering what I could learn from them. There are teachers everywhere in nature if you are willing to look and listen carefully, and I was not disappointed that day. I was feeling the urge to run because I don't know where this thing in my life is going and I want to protect my precious heart. But there are different ways to live your life, and I just had to listen to the waves for a reminder of how I want to live mine.

The waves whisper loudly,
Still I cannot make out
What they say.
My mind softens as
I watch them,
Beautiful and powerful,
Tumbling toward an unknown place.
They do not hesitate,
Racing forward with intention
and grace. 
Crashing ashore
They offer all that they have,
Breaking open to kiss the sand.
I cannot hear what
They are saying,
But they have taught me
Many things.